


Forgiveness

by whereJIJisalive



Series: Fascination [2]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-16 16:37:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereJIJisalive/pseuds/whereJIJisalive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy reminisces about that one time him and Adam could have become more than friends. Can be read independently of the first part in the series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from. Adommy has to be the easiest pairing I've ever written for. I'm pretty sure I wrote this in 30 minutes. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this, and that you think I did the boys justice. I always try to be respectful when I write RPF.
> 
> Disclaimer: None of this ever happened, it is entirely fictional. It is written with the greatest respect for Adam Lambert, Tommy Joe Ratliff and Sauli Koskinen and not meant to offend or upset.

Still he couldn't deny that sometimes things got awkward. But mostly that was in front of the fans. When they had an audience these days, Tommy sometimes felt unsure. He didn't know what to do and he couldn't really read what Adam was planning to do either, when he came close. It all made him think of Glam Nation, especially when they were playing Fever. It left something missing in their interaction, and whenever Adam decided to give him the light of day in a show his heart started pounding, and his body reacted, as if it was still waiting for his advances. Sometimes, even now, their eyes would click and tension build but neither of them would do anything about it. And Tommy couldn't, really, even if he wanted to. It was always Adam who initiated, always him who held the cards. Where Adam led, Tommy followed, and it was as simple as that.

Except for that one time. Of course. A moment just after Glam Nation had finished, and Adam had just met Sauli. They weren't serious yet, Adam hadn't even called him back since the first time they'd met. He had called Tommy, asking him to come to Adam's house. It was nothing unusual or out of the ordinary. Tommy just figured they were going to chill and watch Velvet Goldmine or Nightmare on Elm Street again.

_When he arrived Tommy could see instantly that something was up. Nervousness was written all over Adam's face, along with something he couldn't quite decipher._

_"Hey, man," he greeted him as he stepped inside._

_"Hey, Tommy."_

_"Something up?" he asked, determined to get the seriousness over with as soon as possible, so they could both relax._

_"I don't know," Adam said, leading him into the living room. "I think we need to talk."_

_"Okay, sure. You know we can talk about anything."_

_"Yeah, it's not so much a talk, just a question. I don't really know how to say it." Adam smiled and shook his head self-depreciatingly._

_Tommy was getting a little worried. Maybe something was wrong? Maybe Adam wanted to kick him off the band? Maybe he was going to talk about that thing that they never talked about._

_"The show we've been putting on for the fans during Glam Nation…"_

_Yeah. This was going to be about that. When Adam hesitated, Tommy tried to fill in the gap. "You know I've always been okay with that. Right? It's just fun."_

_"Yeah," Adam chuckled and looked away. "Fun, yeah. But, um, I don't think I can do it anymore."_

_Tommy swallowed. "Okay?" he couldn't deny the feeling of disappointment that settled in his stomach at the thought of never having Adam kiss him again. It wasn't a silly thing to be disappointed about, he tried to remind himself. It was another part of Adam, the sexual, passionate, possessive part of Adam that he never got to see except for those fleeting moments on stage. Tommy was enthralled by that side of him, incredibly fascinated by that Adam. He was going to miss him, he realized. "Why not?"_

_"Because… Because it's starting to mean more to me than it should," he said matter-of-factly._

_Tommy realized at once what he meant. And he was struck with a complete unwillingness to leave it all behind. "I get it," he said, pushing the words out. "It's okay," he tried to go for reassurance, but probably failed, if Adam's miserable look was anything to judge by._

_"Unless," Adam's hand landed on his knee, where they were sitting on the couch. Tommy's eyes determinedly fixed on his friend's black nails, not wanting to acknowledge what was happening. "Unless you want to make it something more," Adam said, his tone a mix between sultry and sad. As if part of him was imagining a positive outcome and the other was expecting a negative._

_And Tommy didn't want to leave. Didn't want to go back to a completely platonic relationship, didn't want to lose this Adam, or this Adam's attention. As that thought expanded in his mind, drowning out all others, Tommy suddenly found himself in Adam's lap. Their lips connected, and even though he could feel Adam's hesitation, his questions, he pressed on, until all he could feel was Adam's passion._

_As his hand slid down the front of Adam's t-shirt and down towards his pants, he found himself not expecting the bulge he could so clearly feel. Despite popular opinion, he had never actually been with a man before. It was throwing him off somehow. Adam only seemed more encouraged, letting his hand go to the buckle of Tommy's jeans._

_As he unbuttoned and unzipped, all Tommy could feel was the overwhelming sensation and anticipation when it suddenly hit him that this wasn't some girl. It wasn't a meaningless hookup and it wasn't just fun between friends. The fun had stopped. This meant something to Adam. Real Adam. All of Adam, not just the desirous side of him. Tommy took a deep breath when Adam started kissing his neck and his hand started creeping down into his jeans, and he disentangled himself and stood up. He looked into Adam's eyes, pupils blown wide open, a question on his face. Tommy turned away and ran off._

The morning after when they had met in the studio, he had been able to feel Adam's eyes on him, hurt and wondering. It had absolutely killed him. But as he had gone home that night, Tommy had realized that he had no intentions of getting into a relationship with Adam. It was all too much, too soon, and Tommy had acted out of lust and desperation. While he loved Adam as a friend, and he was somehow attracted to him, he was nowhere near ready for a relationship with the man.

He had, within the same week, sat Adam down and told him this, the same time profusely apologizing for thinking with his dick instead of his head. Adam, the perfect gentleman as always, had told him it was a douchey thing to do, and then forgiven him before giving him a bro-hug. The next day Adam had told him about talking to Sauli about everything, and how they'd actually really connected. The next thing Tommy had known, Adam was flying to Finland every few weeks, and then introducing his new boyfriend to the band.

It was never awkward. It was never weird. Tommy had feared at first that Sauli would be some kind of rebound, but then he realized that it's hard to rebound off someone you've never actually had a relationship with, and that he was probably underestimating Adam. He knew exactly who he was and what he wanted, and Tommy imagined it wasn't so hard getting over a crush on your best friend while you went out with the love of your life. Or, at least, that's what everyone had thought Sauli was. Which had turned out not to be the case, but that didn't diminish Adam and Sauli's relationship, and that was exactly what Tommy had told him one of the many times they talked about Sauli after the breakup. He had been rewarded with a hug, a hand ruffling his hair and an over-the-top declaration of "You're too precious for this world," before Tommy berated him for watching Supernatural without him.

It worked. Their friendship moved on, constantly evolving, much thanks to Adam's forgiveness that one time that everything could have gone wrong. And Tommy was so grateful for it, because it might just be the best friendship he'd ever had.

Who knew what the future would make of it? Maybe sometime the time would be right for them to be more than friends. Safe in that knowledge, Tommy continued following Adam, this time truly willing to go anywhere he might lead.


End file.
